And I’m standing there all sweaty and angry, like I usually am at the gym, mind you I had just gone through the whole gambit of emotions because I watched Everybody Loves Raymond and then the news, and this poster is telling me about how it uses infrared light and vibrating to promote collagen production (gets rid of cellulite) and also tones your muscles at the same time…I’m like
So I get in there and it’s like a little space station of sorts and I strip down to the essentials because that’s what it says to do and I step in, and bam
This futuristic voices comes on “Welcome to the beauty angel.” And then these bright blinding red lights turn on, and I’m standing there practically naked like what did I get myself into and so I fool around with all these setting. First of course, I had to turn on latin jazz music. I don’t know how I did it and I couldn’t turn it off. Then the vibrating.
I really can’t compare it to anything I have ever experienced in my life. But I can tell you, I’m staring down at my body.
Everything. I mean everything is just jiggling. It’s not something you generally want to see after you’ve been busting your ass for an hour and a half.
I left feeling defeated and awkward. I willingly put myself through it. The posters were misleading.
I’ll probably do it again, just to see if it actually works, but this time, I’ll keep my eyes closed.